Holiday Mode on Telegraph Road

Happy holidays readers! I hope Christmas has been kind to you all, and exams have taken no casualties. My update is cutting it extremely close to January, which would leave December 2007 completely postless, like animals! I promised myself that I would never let that happen when I started this blog, and I’ve done a good job of it so far.

My holiday break started off as good as it could get. No homework in sight, other some much much needed Community service hours I still need to get. Christmas shopping still needed to get done, but that’s never much of a hassle. I’ve gotten plenty of hours at work, and the money pile has been building up for sometime. Unfortunately the pile may still be growing between the hours of 1:30 and 6:30 on Monday night! That’s correct. This Monday night! I will try everything within my power to get a shift switched to be with the gang at Kings, but I can’t make any promises! However, I would walk through two and a half feet of snow to the Shop if I needed to.

-This portion of the post has been removed by Stu. Tough shit everyone.-

Christmas was pretty rockin’ this year. My gifts seemed to have been well accepted. I had gotten my brother a cool Orbital desktop novelty. Some of your may be able to see it one day. I also got him a nifty Calendar themed after various WWII fighter planes. He seemed to like it well enough, but I found it extremely difficult to shop for him this year. With no ideas given to me, I couldn’t have shot more into the dark. Well, I guess if I stopped in at La Senza…

For my mother Andrew and I got her a book that she asked for about Canada’s oldest cemeteries. Of course, I was uninformed, and we both managed to pick up a copy. One has to be returned, but that’s how it goes, I suppose.

For my father I purchased a generic box of Milk Minties chocolates. Getting people chocolate always seems like such an impersonal gift. However I also managed to find a copy of Uncle John’s Gigantic Bathroom Reader. A massive 750 page addition bathroom reader series. My father always seems to enjoy reading those, so it seemed like the perfect addition!

Myself? I got a Wii from my parents, which was a very nice surprise. I honestly didn’t expect them to find one with all the hype it has been receiving of late. Super Mario Galaxy, Metroid Prime 3, and Resident Evil 4 are the games I got as well as a copy of Final Fantasy IV for the GBA. MP:3 from Andrew. I also got a nice pair of Ear-buds, and Dire Straits: Alchemy Live CD from my aunt and uncle, and a book entitled The Jesuit and the Skull from my Grandfather. I believe it’s supposed to be the story (although I think it may be nonfiction.) of a man in a Religious Community who makes a remarkable discovery in the field of Evolution. Varied other gifts of candy and chocolate were also received.

I also got a visit from E on Christmas Eve Eve! She brought me a shirt for Christmas, and I felt extremely bad. I had never gotten my friends anything for Christmas before, what with being a man and all, so I had never even considered getting her anything. I opened it up to see a homemade t-shirt that had the Mountain Dew Logo on it, with the words ‘Do the Dew Stu’ plastered overtop of it. Just like I said I wanted during the summer all of those long months ago. She really is a good friend.

I managed to book tomorrow off of work, so I’ll see you punks for some New Years III. For now just keep on living.

Bran Post: Keeping it Regular

Forty Lashes

-This portion of the post has been removed by Stu. Tough Shit.-

Give Me Coffee, and I shall Build You a House
It is a little known fact that I played in the first Coffee house of the year. A duet with my good friend Mike, simply called D&D. The turn out was impressive, and the laughs were genuine, warm hearted, and appreciated more than words can begin to describe. From the moments of fear stepping on the stage, the first chord (An E minor) rang out of the guitar I felt at ease. Everybody listened to the words, and cared not about the quality of the vocals, but what it was they were saying. A great applause followed the song, and I’ve gotten compliments from friends, lady-types, strangers, and teachers alike. I returned to the Drama Studio for the Remembrance Day Coffee House Auditions, or the RDCHA, I was asked by Mr. Espresso if I would like to “MC” the coffee house. I guess my singing of Cat’s in the Cradle was bad, but not bad enough to keep me off of the stage. I prepared a few words about Remembering the Canadian soldiers who had given so much for the best damn country in the world, but such words escaped me during the performances. The WWII Veteran, and Principal had already depressed, and intrigued everyone as much as they could about the day, so why not just spend the rest of the day in celebration of the Freedom they gave us? Right, so I just tried to get a few, well humored laughs in, while letting the musicians do their thing. Unfortunately they still let stupid performances into the Caffeinetorium included an extremely disturbing rendition of “Hey Big Spender” by a bunch of scantily clad grade nines…
Uhhg. Grades ten and up people. Ten. And. Up. Maybe not even ten, maybe only the senior grades. It was so…wrong.
My friend Mike, Will, and I also embarked on a journey some three weekends ago. Much like a nerd Pilgrimage, but without leaving the house. It is the thing that many say they should do, but many do not, and all should not. But we did it. Starting at 4:30 on a Friday afternoon we started to watch Star Wars Episode I, and continued in numerical order until the saga was complete at 6:30 Saturday morning. At which point we cursed a lot, stumbled around in our tired stooper – having run out of snacks by the Revenge of the Sith – and played Call of Duty 3. I feel some sort of physical illness come on now whenever anyone mentions Star Wars, and I don’t think I’ll need to watch another movie for some time.

Middle Term Comes but Twice a Year
So the report cards that gives kids who have spilled countless hours into work, and studying will have physical justifications, and kids who don’t will begin to panic, and crap their collective pants. I am greatly pleased with all of my marks, but I know that a lot, if not all, of them will go down a bunch. I guess I can be happy right now, so here’s the run down.

Religion- 89%
Guitar- 89%
Math- 89%
Physics- 89%

Average- 89%

Seems too uniform to enjoy properly.

I guess that’s my newest of updates. It wasn’t nearly as good as I thought it was going to be, considering the time it’s been in process. I’ll try to keep life exciting for next time!

Be Afraid.

They are the biggest, baddest mother fuckers in all of Resident Evil. And they're all back. Maybe now we can finally have Nemesis overturn buses, and throw cars, and he comes at you in all his bullet-proofed glory. Or maybe the Proto-Tyrant will have to deal with more than just one handgun because I didn’t know I’d have to fight him. Leech guys are back too. That kind of sucks, but I suppose you must take the bad with the baddest with Umbrella Chronicles.

Where’s Mr. X? I haven’t played Resident Evil 2, but I’m curious to see him! God, I can’t wait to play this game! All the Resident Evil Games. And more!

Playing as Wekser? Yes. Yes to the max.

The Sound of Music

My baby was born today. A healthy 3.18 kg, six-string G-tar. Beautiful Cherry finish on a Mahogany body. Black pick-guard. Terrific tone, and pick-ups. The price was right, but what I didn't know is that it was right at a 25% mark down! So it was more awesome than I thought it was! Probably a whole lot more I could go on about but most of my readers probably wouldn't understand. It's a good thing you don't have to, and comments like

"Sweet axe"
-Binks Oct. '07

Are appreciated more than enough. Even if you feel like adding some sarcasm* it's still appreciated!
*Warning: Sarcasm not appreciated. If it turns out Binkle was being sarcastic he shall hence-forth be known as Professorvonstinkypantsface.

The trip to the local music store has become a somewhat regular, and very enjoyable trip. You get to talk to interesting characters, there's almost always someone playing some nice music that fills the store with a warm atmosphere. Looking at the variety of the Guitars, and cocking an eyebrow at some of the price tags. A couple things I took notice to on my most recent trip.

This is my new Guitar. Or, the closest possible replica I could find. Certainly it paints the picture of my description. I'm just so proud of it! But I noticed something else, perhaps more interesting in my travels.
I found this. This Metal-Acoustic Fender Resonator. It must have been at least 5 kg in mass. I had never seen anything like it. Or, at least, I didn't think I did. As it turns out the Metal-Acoustics give off a very different sound than the regular acoustics, and you might recognize one of those sounds.


It's pretty awesome to hold the same guitar that one of the greats, or for me, the great Mark Knopfler uses. Maybe, when the day comes that I have a hankering for the Cold-Steel Beauty I'll throw down the dough for a Resonator. But for now, it's time to practice until my fingers bleed with my Les Paul.


This will be my last Music related post for a while. I swear!

Classic Metal, New Gear

Shortly after school started I was able to complete The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. The ending of the game was just the right amounts of climactic, epic, and all around snazzy. Unfortunately, like the rest of the game, it wasn't very challenging. I was never really hard-pressed to figure out what I had to do in order to complete a puzzle, or fight an enemy. The boss fights, although cinematic in presentation: were way too easy. There are something like six towns spread out through the game, without many side-quests, and not but a few mini-games to be found. Come on! What ever happened to archery ranges? Those things were awesome!

All of those things aside, the fact remains that it was still a Zelda game. Of course it was an adventure worthy of my many (many) hours of log-time. The game, much like everything else in the series, is just plain fun. The near-artistic blend of puzzles, adventure, action, and story was as fun as it always is, but this time the ending left me wanting more. Perhaps there was more to be had, or maybe I've started getting into deeper games, and the standards of a full game have risen? At any rate, it was by no means a bad game, and was an adventure I would recommend to everyone who has access to it.

After that embarrassingly long Zelda adventure, I had previously promised that I would pick up a Wii, and a copy of Metroid Prime 3 and/or Resident Evil 4. However, something has come up. Two games that I had ignored throughout the life-span of the GCN have caught my interest and I could not pass up a chance to play either of them. MP:C and RE:4 will have to wait, for now I must play through Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes, and Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem. Plus, Half Life 2, and Episode One still have to be completed. Civilizations III, and Phantom Hourglass constantly call my name. I think it could be sometime before I even need to get my hands on a Wii, which may come as less of a shock than I think it would.

And, without the promise of Guitar Hero III for the Wii I've decided I must become my own Guitar Hero. I've already purchased the Best of Dire Straits song book, to go with my CD of awesome, and I think it's about time for a nice Electric Guitar. Something like…this:

Fuck. Yes. That is all.

All the Trouble and the Strife

Hello world.

I know, I know, I'm late for my post! Hey! I don't need you to yell at me! Can't you see I'm sorry? Come on, you know this is my busy time of year. Now don't you cry like that! I'll make it up to you, darling. In fact, I'll do it right now! I'll whip out two glasses of the good font, and we'll have our post right now just like we always do. No! Better than we always do. It'll be a magical evening, just like when we were dating, and we can rest under the stars together. . .

Let's never fight again, world!

Part I: The Strife

Where did I last leave you in the - hopefully- many versed ballad of my life? Ah, yes. I had just started school, and everything was going fine. But, just as the car going down the road at 310 km/h you'll feel like you’re on top of the world. Somewhere down the road, however, you will begin to swerve very slightly, and bam! You're rolling over the highway, almost instantly disintegrating whatever crazy-ass vehicle you used to get going that fast in the first place.


Well, the whole E situation kind of blew up in my face, as I sort of figured it would. What I didn't know is that E had broken up with her previous boyfriend while I was on vacation in the Rocky Mountains. I.S., (who I'll refer to as Tank: the son of a popular Science teacher.) was there to comfort her, as friends do. I had been hanging out with Tank and E for most of the summer, and had grown used to the fact that they would probably end up locking lips eventually, and I would remain a mutual friend of both of them in the meantime. However, I also expected them to maybe tell me when they started going out, or when a significant event happened in their social lives. Like breaking up with a boyfriend.
After I returned from The Rocks I got together with the two of them for a few hours, playing some Tekken, and Guitar Hero, and then finally going on my way. No one had informed me of that anything was going on, but I noticed that they had began to talk amongst each other is hushed voices. I tried to make it seem as though I didn't really care, but I knew I was being left out of something, and due to minor paranoia, kind of figured they were saying bad things about me.

A week goes by, and I get no word from them.

School has started, and I return to my friends from the Grand Table of Lunch. We're all conversing, and having a merry time. Things quickly get back in-swing, and it's the good old days all over again. I get the chance to talk to Tank and E during Physics, but they seem a little pissed off at me. This only further added to my suspicions of them bad-mouthing me. As one particular day, a couple weeks in, comes to a close, I catch up with Tank at his locker. I talk to him about getting together on Friday with E, since it had been so long since I had gotten to spend time with either of them. Having worked several nights a week, school, homework, and other things to worry about, I hadn't gotten a chance to really talk with them in quite sometime. So Tank finally lets me in on the situation, and apparently I'm an asshole for having a goddamn life outside of them!
They seemed to think that I was ignoring them, and just reverting back to my old friends, and that sort of Jazz. Due to having to work about 22 hours a week on top of my homework, and other things I had not been able to do anything with E and Tank since that last day in the summer." Well, shit," I said "I'm asking if you guys want to do something now, aren't I?" The two of them agreed to it, and we planned the Friday as the time.

Of course, this gets into a very long story, but I'll just tell you the ending, to spare the reader of minor, uninteresting, and equally unimportant details.

We had come into my house, to out of the rain. We all dropped into a chair in the Den, and I thought it would be a good idea to change my soaking shirt, as well as grab the two of them some towels to help the wet situation. I got back downstairs, and offered to pull E and Tanks bikes out of the rain, and into the garage. Unfortunately for me, as I came back from putting the storing the bikes I heard an awful sound coming from the den. Sort of like the sound of pulling a nerf dart off the wall. The smack-pop shook my head as a dozen emotions went through me at the same time. The loudest one was probably anger. I was right pissed off. I was pissed off the whole night, but I tried to hide it. When we went out for Pizza, (Tank had to leave for work) E seemed to catch on to my pissed-off mood. I threw up a smile, and went on with the rest of the night. The fact that they were making out didn't bother me as much as the fact that they didn't tell me, and still haven't (however by now it is painfully obvious).

And in my own house! That's the worst part of all! I had to find out by walking in on them in my own goddamn house. That is betrayal at the highest level! And the two of them going at it seems to leave me with the position of Third Wheel, which has left me out of doing anything with them since the Friday of crap.

Part II: The Trouble

Despite my awkward, and frustrating social situation my quest for higher education presses on relentlessly. After an awesome showing of cardboard boatery, my group placing fist out of a combined class of 60, my marks for Physics seems hopeful. However my Math marks seem to be in peril, with a test approaching quickly, and my understanding of the lessons is slipping slowly. However, I have struck speaking grounds with an incredibly bright, and pretty I might add, young lass who has moved to the desk right in front of me since the beginning of the school year. She may be able to help me with my math problems, and save my marks from drooping further.
Guitar has easily become my most enjoyable, and perhaps my most challenging class. New techniques are difficult to master, and note-reading has never been a strength of mine. However, because I love the class, so much I have put a boat-load of effort to keep up, and I think I'm starting to close the gap between the rest of the class. Putting a hell of a lot towards finger-picking and bare chords, I've yet to become Music Literate. However, I've decided to put way more of my time towards practicing Guitar, and less time towards uselessly sitting on the computer. With time, and only time, will I get any better with my instrument. The difficulty of senior guitar is made much better by the attitude Mr. C has towards teaching it. As long as you are making a serious effort towards any sort of improvement he'll give you respect for it.
My math and Guitar will come together someday, and to quote the poster above the chalkboard - a poster I look at every single day - "Just because you can't do it doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Only that you should try harder."

Part III: Do the Walk of Life

To tell you that things have not gone a tad askew in the past month would a complete lie. I'm slipping up in my school work in the most important year to date, and a friendship seems to have blown up in mid air, with an unknown casualty count. Things are reverting back to normal slowly.
In honor of Kyle's 16th birthday five of us went Paintballing on the past Wednesday. This event shall get a post all of its own. A.K., (taking a page out of Liam's book shall receive the nick-name Kalashnikov to avoid future embarrassment.) the unbelievably pretty girl from Math, is willing to help me out with my math issues during lunches. This can only end up being a win-win situation, and other positive things to be posted about in the very near future. No matter how bad you wreck your rocket-car, so long as you’re alive: you can always salvage the pieces and have the long walk back home.

I Have Eight Sides On Me

The beginning of this school year makes me think of a very simple analogy to generalize the school, and the certain quality it has that erodes your will-power, and determination. The idea came to me whilst listening to Mike and Jerry, otherwise known as Gabe and Tycho, from Penny Arcade.

It is as though I have entered The Octagon with some sort of freak personification of School. The match plays out in slow-motion, and School's unbeatable strategy, as with all other UFC fighters, is to drag me onto the ground in some sort of snake-like death grip, and punch me in the balls until I lose to will to go on.

Sure, for the first agonizingly slow moments of frame by frame progression, I may try to fight back against the ball-punching death-grip. Maybe I punch it in the face a few times before it takes me to the ground. However, it does get a hold of me and maybe I will grab a hold of the cage in a desperate attempt to pull myself up, while my scrotum is being reduced to something that resembles the daily plate in the Cafetorium. I would try, but, not unlike in UFC, the ball punching always wins out. No victory is worth going through that. Such as this, school does ware you out, and you will get tired of it eventually. But I am determined, just this once, to hang through the brutal ball-punching mayhem, and emerge victorious over the year! I will dominate it! Than I will return next year, to defend my title, and some sort of gigantic novelty belt that I got for being the champion.

So, yeah, I hope you enjoyed that little bit. School has started again, and it's enjoyable for the most-part. For some reason, being surrounded by annoying, and artsy, incredibly uninteresting, people in Math class has made it a goddamn chore. We will prevail! For the joys of Mathematics and the high-hopes of lunch will allow me to plow through the day, to the enjoyable hour and fifteen minutes of Physics! Hurrah!

Xbox 360 or Wii?

Well, as my list of consol games starts drawing to a close, with the exception of Andrew's Xbox which he is keeping in storage that isn't this house, I figured it was time to start planning on a new consol to keep up with new games, and good times. At first I thought the obvious choice was a Nintendo Wii, due to the abundance of franchises carried from the Gamecube that are making their way to the Wii.

Metroid Prime: Corruption, Super Smash Brothers Brawl, Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles, Super Mario Galaxy, along with a handful of other promising games to come in the future, it seemed like the obvious choice.

But was it really that easy?

Looking at the 360's list of upcoming attractions, a few games I'm familiar with, along with new names, and promising experiences fill the list. Gears of War, Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, BioShock, Mass Effect, Too Human, Halo 3, Fable 2, Grand Theft Auto IV, and Assasin's Creed. To name a few.

Perhaps someone else is wondering the same thing? Which should you go for? Let's take a closer, in-depth look!

The Wii

System

It's an adorable little machine, for a relatively low price, and it's packing a mighty punch. The Wii is offering a delicious new way of playing old-style video games, as well as allowing all new kinds of games to present themselves. Nintendo has met, and exceeded, the market standard in online gaming that they were pooh-poohed for neglecting on the Gamecube. Plenty of online capabilities including, but not limited to: Classic NES, SNES, and N64 games available through their Virtual Consol, as well as Online Multiplayer for certain games. Powering graphics that push beyond the boundaries of the Gamecube, but still quite limited to what the competition can produce, The Wii still remains a grand choice for a proper Next-Gen Consol.

Games

Upcoming games for the Wii are not many in number, but they are familiar and warm with names I know well.

Metroid Prime: Corruption came out just recently, and has been hailed as "Fucking awesome" by many. Metroid Prime has been one of my favorite series on the Gamecube, and not being able to finish it would be a constant gnawing in my mind. Forever in the dark of how the adventure came to a close.

Super Smash Brothers Brawl is another stellar game that is coming out for the Wii. The Super Smash Brothers series is a very popular one among Nintendo fans, and I am no exception. The near endless playability, tones of my favorite characters, and ridiculously fun multiplayer to boot, this game is sure to continue the tradition, and whoop all kinds of ass.

Super Mario Galaxy looks semi-interesting to me. Probably the disappointment of Super Mario Sunshine is keeping me from being extremely excited for it, but SMG

Resident Evil Umbrella Chronicles could be a hit or miss. Although, unlike Super Mario Galaxy, I'll be keeping up to date with it, remaining excited and hopeful for the newest Nintendo-bound Resident Evil game.
does have its interesting bits.

New games are sure to pop-up in the future of the Wii as well, offering much more variety, and diversity to any gaming library.

Cost (With Tax):

Wii: $333.50
Controllers With Nunchuk: $80.50 each
Games: $70.00 each

Total: (2 controllers, 3 games) = $704.50 over the course of several months.

Over All the Wii is a very reliable gaming consol. Combining the classic game series' that I can trust for a good time, along with new ones that I can further explore. It offers new, really fun gaming, and affordability. Such a bundle one might only be able to find in an annoying car commercial if it weren't for the Nintendo Wii.

PROS: Cheapest Next-Gen consol.
Bad ass new controller is sure to offer up some awesome ways to play games.
Favorite series such as Metroid Prime and Super Smash Brothers are available.
New games sure to please the soul.

CONS: Not as powerful as the other Next-Gen consoles, so it won't be as pretty.
Lacks some really good games as of now (Other than Metroid Prime).
What the fuck is up with all the crap clogging up the gaming library? Seriously.

That was a short summary of the Wii and how I feel about it. Now let's bring out the copmetition.

X-Box 360

The System:

Microsoft's Xbox 360 is a hulking mass of awesome. Its powerful innards are barely contained by its sleek, easily melted outer shell. The 360 doesn't use any sort of knock-off Nintendo controller, unlike some consoles, but keeps with classic controller, which is a fine way to play Videogames. The Xbox already has an impressive library on, or perhaps under, their belt and is packing in more worth-while games this holiday season. Xbox Live, the online component of the 360, gives a gamer an unmatched online gaming experience with downloadable Demos, extras to you favorite games, TV shows, trailers, communication between fellows, classic and new arcade games, online multiplayer, earnable rewards for your offline games. But it costs money. :( Still, the Xbox 360 is a powerful contender to the market and a grand choice for a Next Generation Consol.

Games

There are a lot of very cool looking games coming out for the Xbox 360. Let's take a look at some of the lesser known ones, because looking at all of them would take forever.

Halo 3: Shut up. I know what I just said, but it's effing Halo! I demand to finish the fight and whoop some Brute ass!

Mass Effect: I think it's a pretty well known fact that if you see a game and it has the word "BioWare" on it somewhere: it's an awesome game. Mass Effect is BioWare's latest RPG for the -guess what- 360. But it doesn't play like an RPG. It plays like a third person shooter, and looks like a very well polished classic Sci-Fi TV show- but not in a bad way! Very large amounts of detailed character customization, as well as many worlds to explore in the Galaxy, and a crew to assemble and command, Mass Effect looks very cool indeed. Shipping late November.

Resident Evil 5: Drool, man, super drool. But it doesn't come out until I'm, like, 20. So...yeah.

Assassins Creed: Another Jem from UbiSoft, this looks to be a very close realative to the Prince of Persia series, only it stars a Mysterious Assassin. It seems like it'll be a lot more open ended than Prince of Persia, but the cinimatics, acrobatics, and combat are all looking very cool.

Turok: This series has been around forever, and I'm aware of that. I was never too interested in the Turok games, probably because I was very young when they came out on the N64, but now there's an all new Turok game coming out for the PS3 and 360. Combining Dinosaurs, and a pretty cool Sci-fi FPS is cool enough even if I didn't have a child-hood obsession with Dinosaurs. Very cool looking game, and I'll be sure to keep up with it's development.

Others that look cool, but you probably know something about them, or perhaps they're coming out in a very long time: BioShock, GTA IV, Too Human, Gears of War, Oblivion, and a little Fable 2. Maybe even Dead Rising.

Costs (With Taxes):

Xbox 360: $458.85
Elite (As seen in picture):$573.85
Games: $80.49 Each
Controllers: $69.00 Each
Xbox Live: $50.00 a Year

Total: (2 controllers 3 games) $826.83 With Xbox Live subscription: $876.83
(Elite, 2 controllers 3 games) $941.83 With Xbox Live subscription: $991.83

Over All: The Xbox 360 is certainly an impressive machine with a very good line-up of games. Xbox Live allows the maximum amount of gameplay out of each and every game you have. Maybe it's not quite as affordable as the Wii, but it certainly is quite the contender, and a fine choice for a Gaming consol.


PROS: Promise of a Vast gaming library
Xbox live compatibility with nearly everything
Friends who own Xbox 360s offer up plenty of chance for some LANing fun.
Games look nicer. . .? Woo hoo?

CONS: Xbox live costs money :(
Lots of games may take years to come out.
Lots of people of Xbox Live are douche bags.
The Xbox 360 is pretty pricey.
Lots of games may lead to not a whole lot of money.
Too many First Person shooters, not enough diversity.



The Choice.

Well, it's been a long post, but I think it really allowed me to make the proper choice. The Nintendo Wii is the system for me. The games for it are the games I know and love on the Gamecube, and on the N64. Being the cheaper of the two is probably the most influencial aspect of the Wii, seeing as how I don't really feel like droping too much money for my gaming consol, and as Jordan stated, I can always work my way towards a 360 in the duration the console's life-span. Or even after the Xbox (360 x 2)^1 comes out. Plus, and extensive gaming library from the 360, and $80.00 could end up being a very, very shitty thing. So good bye Xbox 360, it was good to keep the dream alive, but I think I'll stick with the Wii.

After I beat Zelda (Almost there) I'll be sure to pick up a Wii on the Weekend, and a copy of Metroid Prime 3: Corruption, and Resident Evil 4.

Thanks readers, and I hope you enjoyed my comparison page.

Bring the Noise!

If I will bring up the past for the moment, I hope it will not upset my viewers. Or my readers. If we examine one skeleton in the closet - that isn't really a skeleton but a past comments from Granite's Box - he said that if Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles was multiplayer co-op that he would take up arms with me, and we would rock some zombie face! As a team. If you were to recall that, Jordan. . .


Bam! Shit got real.

Almost Epic

A few minutes with Windows Movie Maker can make something surprisingly epic.




The important part is I like it. I'm afraid of the idiotic Youtube comments though.

POST!

Part I: Marks of Yore, and Classes of Yonder

I’ve got my classes for the next two terms, and my marks from the last one. I’ve actually had them for a while, but I couldn’t be bothered to put them up. I can’t imagine that there’s too much demand for up-to-the-minute Stu updates, and I’m only putting them up now for general knowledge, and pride.

Final Marks :

Religion - 80
Communications Technology - 90
Math - 88
English – 86

Average 86%

Over all I’m pretty happy with my marks, despite the predicted fall of numbers. As it turns out my slow-handed righting is going to be quite troublesome, and I should probably look to fix that before Grade 11 and 12 exams come up lest I shit all over my future, and potential career choices.

My future classes are as follows, keeping in mind that I do not have the actual schedule on hand so I do not know the teacher names, but I wish I did have it in order to explain some changes to the time-table. Now, instead of having periods 2 - 4 lunches they all occur on a 2 hour long period 3. Grade 9s have their lunch for the first 40 minutes, grade 10's have their class interupted for the second 40 minutes, and 11's and 12's will be having theirs for the final 40 minutes of period 3. Feel free to discuss that. However, even if I did have the schedule on me, I would probably keep teachers anonymous in case they chose to google their names, and see what things some jackass kids are saying about them on the inter-tubes.

Semester 1

World Religion
Guitar
Math
Physics

Semester 2

English
Ancient History
Chemistry
Biology

It should be a fun-filled, eventful, and busy year. But we don’t need to worry about that quite yet.

Part II: Bee-Eff-Eff

So, I'm sure regular readership all remembers my soft spot for that girl in my math class, she knows who she is! Anyway, the short version of the story was to befriend the female, in hopes of increasing hangout time, and getting to know her. Well, it actually worked a lot better than I could have possibly hoped!
It was several weeks ago, the day that Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix hit theatre boxes everywhere. She happened to be talking to me via instant messaging, and asked if I was going to see it. Of course I was not, just like the rest of the movies, but I did admit I thought this one may have been taken in the right direction. She quickly followed up by asking if I wanted to go see it with her family, which I did.

So we went and watched the movie, quietly making ridiculous suggestions to improve the movie, mocking the huge gaps missing from the plot, and just making conversation the whole night, laughing away. Since then we’ve hung out for the vast majority of the waking hours on several days of the week, joined with good-guy Tank. That most-popular Mr. Smith's son. The three of us have watched Kung-Fu Hustle, Hot Fuzz, Reservoir Dogs, and 300 just this week, as well as billiards, guitar hero, swimming, mission, and walking around aimlessly. It's be a few weeks of a lot of fun, and I'm surprised that i didn't really have to put much effort into befriending her, and yet it has turned out so great! Hurray for things that put themselves together, eh?

Part III: To Do

So far I am about halfway through my summer vacation, and I still have loads to do. Beating a few games, going on a wacky family vacation, and re-teaching myself music notes, and their corresponding placements on a guitar, as well as keeping up with the Daily Show and the Colbert Report. So far I’ve made some new friends, found a deadly spider, beaten some games, and watched some really, really awesome movies. The seconds half should be awesome and should at least provide me with some interesting posts.

‘Till next time readership.

Widower

This tale starts off the same as any other. I was at work going about my business, when I was asked by a costumer if we happened to have any "nice green grapes." I'd go check, I told him. I gave the cooler a look over but couldn't find any when I finally decided to ask my coworker, Max, if we had any. Max simply motioned beside where he was standing, and there was a huge stack of grape boxes, so I decided to fill up the grapes.

I'd grab the grape bags, and jerk them in the direction of the grape pile; this way was much quicker than reaching in and grabbing the bundle of grapes. I tossed a bunch, and threw the bag into my garbage box, when I reached for another bag.

Holy. Shit.

There was a rather large spider sitting at the edge of my grape box. I backed away a few steps, due to my fear of spiders. May as well grab something to kill him with I had thought, but then I noticed something. It was larger than an average house-spider, and it looked like it had large fangs, as it raised its legs towards me.

Oh. My. God.

"Hey! Jamie!" I called. You had better take a look at this. So my co-worker Jamie came over, and we both agreed that it was possible it could be a Black Widow spider. I left Jamie to watch the arachnid, and ran to the back to get our senior worker, Max, to deal with it. He came quickly, with many pairs of gloves, and a plastic container. He managed to scoop up the Widow, and we taped it shut, and punctured the lid so it was able to breathe. We examined the spider, and found a red hour-glass shape on its abdomen. That confirmed it. We had just caught a deadly spider that came from a box of Californian grapes. Needless to say, I didn't finish the grapes, and Max agreed with me. They didn't pay me enough, and there was no need to take the risk.

The beast is currently inside of Zehrs, in its make-shift prison. I had to close up tonight, and when I checked it seemed to be dead, or at very least almost dead.

The Winning Edge

So, I sat down and played the Resident Evil Remake yesterday. Now, I'm not saying that I played it for a bit, and then stopped. I played the game. The whole thing. I sat down after the Colbert Report, and I beat it in Normal mode, as Jill ,as fast as I could.

I needed to beat the game in under 5 hours to get the Samurai Edge handgun, a modified Berretta pistol equipped with .40 caliber rounds, 3 round burst-fire, infinite ammo, and badassery. Albert Wekser uses one in the game.

Getting under the 3 hour mark would earn me the most prized possession in any Resident Evil arsenal. The Unlimited Rocket Launcher. Capcom has decided to include such a weapon in most of their Resident Evil game, but set the time to get it so short that when you do earn it one would cherish it like a priceless trophy that somehow justified not having a Girlfriend.

My final time was… 3 hours 15 minutes and 23 seconds...

Fuck.

Oh well, I still earned Jill’s RE:3 Costume, Real Survivor Mode, and the Samurai Edge Handgun. It would have been much better if I had told this through a montage, with You're the Best playing in the background as I shot up Zombies. But I couldn't be bothered to do that.

Real Life posts on their way!

Short Answer

Now, I know I've been asked this many times in person. Because of that I know it must also be on all of your minds: so I decided I would answer it now. For all (two-five) of my readers.

People have asked me, time and time again, "Stu, how do you ride?"

Motherfucker, I ride like this!



Oh, and a Happy Birthday to Binkle. I'm about 14 minutes late on that one, but it's still there!

Robots in Disguise

So, I just came back from the theatre, watching the old Transformers rough it up on the silver screen with their new movie. Unfortunately I had to sit beside a little shit who really deserved have his head driven into the seat in front of him, and I was just about ready to do it. What the fuck is a little kid (somewhere between 4 and 8) doing in Transformers anyway?! There’s no chance in hell he is old enough to remember any of the Transformers sagas, let alone the one the movie is based off of. And with the amount of violence, and subject matter in the movie they shouldn’t have let him in anyway. That, and there should be an age restriction on little children going to movies, but I’ll save that for a later post. If that child is not subjected to one of Granite’s sentences, you know the ones for voting in one of those stupid SSB:B characters, at some point in his life there will be no justice in this world. Anyway, despite having a shitty seat, a sot-nosed little shit, and a packed theatre: the movie was pretty good.

Minor spoilers ahead.

I immediately groaned when I witnessed the opening scene. The U.S.A military base in the Middle East reminded me of Spielberg’s War of the Worlds, in which the United States military was made out to be an unstoppable, alien destroying super power that saves the day every time. It was not appropriate in War of the World’s and would certainly not go down with Transformers, the Autobots are supposed to bring the hurt to the Descepticons. My heart lightened as Blackout came riding in, out of the desert, and wiped out the military base in minutes. Scorpinok made short work of some of the survivors, but after the fight with Scorpinok, they seemed to focus in on how we, the United States military, rock. And will find a way to destroy these mega-super-awesome robots. Because we’re so cool! But it worked out in the end, as the military served as great cannon fodder for such awesome Desepticons as Starscream, Megatron, and Devastator, who happened to be a badass, modified M1 Abrams. Bitchin’.

The Special Effects were absolutely stunning. Not quite as impressive as Jurassic Park was when it first devastated the movie industry, but certainly leaps and bounds past what other movies have managed to achieve. When you watch the movie you will not see any flaws in the robots, their fluid transformations, or the fight scenes. They are done perfectly, and in a way that I’m not even sure if it was all CGI, or is they actually used models for the scenes. Or perhaps they found the real Transformers and decided that they could make a movie with them, which seems like a very real possibility as well.

The plot was…well…unimportant. I came to see giant fucking robots beat the crap out of each other, and that’s just what I got! The plot was decent for a Transformers movie, and wasn’t so mind-boggingly stupid that it ruined the movie, but it was pretty good, and made sure that there was plenty of close-combat action. If you can shake off the stench of United States superiority than this is definitely an awesome movie, and a great way to see those robots that are more than meets the eyes one more time.

That’s all I have to say about that.

Looking Back, Forward, And Both Ways Before Crossing the Street

Well folks, it's finally over. The exams put up a good fight, but I'm pretty happy with them over all. I know my math exam could have gone a lot better, but I suppose there's not much I can do about it. Another drag was that I was pretty sure that 3/4 of my marks could only remain about the same, or go lower. So my marks will certainly drop from what they were at mid-term which is understandable, but when your marks go down you can't help but be a little bummed out.

Grade ten was a hell of a year! I was out of Student Council, and asked on a regular basis why I didn't return, if I was planning on running next year, and why I'm just plain awesome. It's nice to know that people liked what I did, and enjoyed my wacky antics, but it's also nice to think that I won't have to work with student council anymore. There are too many senior-grade girls whining constantly about workloads, exams, life, and says “how hot that guy is” or “How wasted we’re going to get” and not enough people getting the goddamn work done. Plus too many flamers whose possession of a genuine penis is rather questionable.

...Oh, yeah, right. This is not about that! In grade ten I managed to get a job, make some friends, finish some mandatory classes, and take another step towards post secondary - which is fast approaching for someone who has not one fucking idea of what he wants to do. The work loads were building up and grade ten religion was absolute hell. But I did gain something positive out of that whole experience: I no longer fear death. The rest of my classes were just fine, and the people were great! My classes for next year, although I don’t know the order, are as follows.

1 Biology
2 Chemistry
3 Physics
4 Mathematics
5 English
6 World Religion
7 Ancient History
8 Guitar

All of these are university courses, and I’ll get my needed Canadian studies, and Gym/Arts/Business credits. I chose to take another guitar class because I don’t really feel like I’d be much of an athlete and Guitar was easily my favorite class this year! Mr. C was an awesome teacher, and I actually enjoyed my homework, as well as the in-class work. Mr. Carroll said that they did offer a University Guitar class for Grade 11’s, so I jumped at the opportunity! I will just have to make sure that I relearn to read notes over the summer, and keep up with my playing in general.

That does it for this post. Look forward to the second of a confidential-number-of-posts in my summer extravaganza!

Awesomeness in 3 Parts

Behold, followers of the Soup! I have returned from my exam hibernation to bring to you a message of awesomeness! Those who instantly recognize its greatness: rejoice in it! Others: you shall go off to play Tales of Symphonia immediately!







That’s all. Also, I’m done Grade 10 Religion. FOREVER!

2 down 2 to go.

Pre-Exams

Part I: The Girl

I’ve made a decision on the Emily situation, since my constant switching of sides has surely caused some confusion. I have decided (not so much a decision as it is common sense) that I will try to be friends with her as best as I can. I will still get to hang out with her this way, on good terms, and no harm can come from having a female companion in life. If something happens to come up I may go for it, or I may not. It depends on how it feels when, or if, it comes up. Maybe it will feel right, or maybe it will feel weird. Either way, I won’t try to interfere with anything because I don’t want to fuck over someone’s life due to my own blundering selfishness. I’ll just be friends with Emily as much as I can manage, while respecting her separate life. Seems simple, and seems like what I was doing already, but I can at least treat her as more of a friend than just another girl in class.

Part II: Red Vs Blue

In other news, I’ve really gotten into Red Vs Blue just recently. I had watched a few clips of it on youtube, (a ‘The Best of Caboose” clip) and I decided to check out the whole series! I remember Binkle tried to show us a few episodes way way back when. Unfortunately our sound wasn’t working for some reason, so we couldn’t watch it. But now I’ve watched the first four seasons on Google Video, and caught up to where they have left off at the end of Season Five.

I was amazed that on the Monday that I got to episode 99 was the day they had released it! After than I had just found out that they were only making 100 episodes! I was excited to know I had jumped on the Red Vs Blue train just before it was finished, but at the same time I was disappointed that the series will end just as I get on board with it. Just like The Show with ZeFrank, it was a very strange feeling that something this good would be ended forever very soon.

It is a very clever show, funny from the beginning, and the plot becomes surprisingly genius as the show progresses. There is not a character I find annoying, and they’re all played so well. It’s a very well made series and I recommend you all check it out from the beginning, if you haven’t already. They make a lot of throw-back references, and the first season is pretty good anyway, unlike a lot of online material which takes a while to really get off the ground.

I’m currently getting each episode of season five in their low-quality offerings. It will have do for me unless I can suddenly purchase things from the inter-tubes, and feel like spending $20.00 (USD) a season!

Part III: The Test(s).

In other, other news: exams are starting soon. According to my planner, Period 1 starts on the afternoon of Thursday, the 21st, followed by period 2 on the Friday. This is the perfect set up, because I have my less important/difficult Religion and Communications Technology exams on those days, and then I get the whole weekend to review my Math and English, the more difficult (and important) of the two.

Studying should commence on the weekend, although I don’t know how faithful I will be to studying for Religion, and Math and English will seem so far away! At very least I will begin to review my math work, seeing how I find math to be my most difficult, as well as my most important, exam. Wish me luck and I will probably go into exam hibernation before I can update again, so prepare for radio silence until Tuesday the 26^th!

Also: feel free to discuss why it’s stupid to have the period 3 and period 5 exams on the Monday, and the period 4 exam on the Tuesday, thus resulting in ruined lives of those university-hopefuls with something like University Physics Period 3, and University Chemistry Period 5, dealing with those two exams on the same day would be fuckin’ hell! Why not just give them period 3 and period 4 exams on the same day, thus giving them a break due to a period 4 lunch?

I leave you all now with this:

I Laughed

If anyone has ever seen that treadmill music video: this is hilarious. It's done by "Nobody's Watching" I recommend looking at some of their stuff if you're ever bored, or procrastinating!

Original:


Hilarious:

Unshelled Update

I know I haven’t posted in a very long while, so I apologize to all one and a half of my readers. I know that you guys, and parts of guys, have been demanding an update for sometime now. There hasn’t been much interesting going on, but I will fill you in on the semi-interesting bits of Stu life.

The two weeks have just been a flood of homework, tests, and projects after projects. All of my classes have taken drastic turns for the worse. Religion class is an absolute pain to go to now that I’m staying up later to finish homework, thus making me more tired for homeroom the next day. All of my notes are everywhere for religion and I have no idea how I am going to study for that exam. My homework load keeps filling itself back up, even when I attack it relentlessly for several hours on end. I will completely diminish the pile, projects and all, and the next day it will be back up to full strength. However I only have a few more weeks of this and now that this grand homework load has begun I know that the semester is in its final throws before exams and summer holidays begin. I’ve just got to keep it all up in the air, whilst attempting to enjoy my down time.

Math class has kept me entertained through the school year. Mr. O is an awesome teacher, despite what other people may think. He actually teaches the math, doesn’t take crap, and he’s hilarious! I’ve also been enjoying my Math class because of the cute girl who sits behind me. E, her name is. I’ve known E since my fist day of high school, and we sat beside each other in that homeroom science class. She always laughs at my jokes, and she’s fun to talk with. She was telling me about her experience with playing Silent Hill “the other night” and while on the subject I brought up Resident Evil. She was interested in a videogame! A Girl! Unfortunately she currently has a boyfriend, but I shall be biding my time. Waiting for it to not work out, hopefully, and perhaps I will be able to work up the man-bits to ask her out. At least I have developed a foundation to asking her out, and it won’t seem as though some stranger has asked her out from nowhere.

Sunday June 3rd, Part II: Wherein Logic Resides.

As Binkle/Jordan has pointed out in the first/Second comment, it would probably be a better, and more successful, idea to just be friends with her. Why would I want to put up with the troubles of having a girlfriend when I can just have the same amount of fun being a regular friend? Finding a female who enjoys a good videogame is like finding a diamond in the fucking dump. No need to mess it up and no need to make her feel like some sort of object along the way. So, kudos Binkle/Jordan! You’re thinking may have saved me form making a very silly decision.

The E situation shall be updated when new events and problems begin to arise.

I have been working for quite some time now, saving money up for my questionable post secondary schooling. However, I do have some other money saved up along side of it, that I am able to spend on…well, whatever! Through my experience with Communications Technology class, I’ve felt that movies were not only fun to work with, write, edit and direct but they were also very fun to make. I was thinking to dipping into some of my money and getting a relatively cheap Camcorder. Our family doesn’t have one right now, and I want to try to make some homemade short films. We worked with a program that’s only purpose was to add in lightsaber effects onto your film! I could film Andrew and I fighting with cardboard tubes, as we usually do, and add in all the cool sounds and visuals of a lightsaber duel! Perhaps even add in some of the Kill Bill sound track just for kicks. But maybe it is all just a daydream, for I don’t know when I would do this, or even how long my interest in films will last. At any rate, I could just use the film setting on a digital camera for now, and see how I enjoy writing, filming and editing before I make any sort of large investment into a camcorder.

Plus I still need to keep some money around for when a Wii is finally worth getting!

This will probably do for now. I’ll have probably have more updates closer to exams as I procrastinate from studying.

Awesome Deals Are Afoot

I was at work, more accurately, on my lunch break. I had just finished eating a delicious sandwich from Tim Horton’s, when I figured I would swing around EB Games for the remaining time I had for Lunch. I gave the store a quick look over, silently admiring their life-sized Link set up. I looked over both the X-box and Gamecube games, working my way around to the DS corner, and back to the side-counter. After hearing about some ‘amazing trade-in deals going on at EB Games’, from Patrick, I decided to inquire about them. Here’s what I found out…

You are able to trade in anywhere from 6 – 10 games that are worth 8.00 or more in trade-in value and receive some awesome rewards for them Including...

6 – A Free DS Lite

8 – Lots and Lots of Store credit towards a new system.

10 – $240.00 towards an X-Box 360, or a PS3.

The deal is only good during May, so if this interests any of you I would suggest checking it out. I was going to trade in a few old games and pick up a DS lite for Andrew, and decided to be nice enough and make this deal known to the public.

Nothing is Final

Final Fantasy

Crystal Chronicles DS

Tactics DS

VI

Square-Enix knows how to take my money. I'm loving FF:III, despite it's many flaws, and all of these games that are on the horizon are supposed to be leaps and bounds better than III.

Produce bitchin’ games out of all of these, Square, and my money shall be yours!

Bagels

A day at work isn’t much fun for a lot of people. Probably even the majority of people and almost definitely no one at my age. We have jobs so we can get money, so we can pay for things like movies, books, videogames, and school, certainly not for the love of the job. I was working one particular Thursday night, thinking grimly about the homework load I would have to put up with when I finally arrived home. An essay, a slideshow, and some math did not seem appealing to me at all. It actually made me want to throw up all over the place, because there could be no convenient way I could get it all done, yet I couldn’t get my mind off of it.

The clock said it was about 7:30. It was a good enough time as any to take my break, and maybe sit down for a while. I walked over to the Bean Roast, a favorite amongst the employees. I dislike coffee in almost all forms, so I decided to get the usual.

“A bagel, and a large chocolate milk,” I said to the woman behind the counter, “I believe that comes to $2.69.”

“2.69, on the dot!” she exclaimed, as she accepted my money, and went to fetch me my food. Quickly she got me my chocolate milk, and she began at the bagel just next to me. A cheese and herbs bagel, I grab one whenever they are available. She makes casual talk about working as we wait for the bagel to toast. I respond in a polite manner, just eager to get my bagel, and devour it.

“Enjoy your meal!” She said as I took my plate, and cup towards my usual table in the corner. I thanked her, and found my empty seat just beside the window. I took a bite of my bagel, and the world seemed to drift away. The melted cheese mixed with the bread and butter perfectly. It wasn’t dry, and it wasn’t soggy. It was the perfect slice of bread. I continued to eat each bit with a great amount of joy, not caring about savoring the flavor.

The same lady who served me my bagel came by to sweep under the tables. By this time I was casually sipping my milk, staring out the window. “Whoa!” She exclaimed “You really like that bagel, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.” I replied simply enough. “Yeah, it was really good...”

She continued her end-of-the-day sweeping, and I returned to looking out the window, as the sun was setting behind me. Homework wasn’t so bad.

Middle Term

Mid-term marks are in just as the school had promised many moons, and a few suns, ago! Overall, I was pleasantly surprised with most of my marks, scoring in the top end of all of my classes! Of course, I felt a searing hatred towards my stupid Religion class, but 9 / 10 doctors tell me it is completely natural. So, here it is.

Stu’s Grade Ten Midterm Midtacular!

Religion – 83
Communications – 89

Math – 94
English – 89

Average – 89

It’s looking good so far. If I can keep up my marks, as well as inch religion towards the ninety mark I will be able to surpass a ninety percent average in grade ten!

But for now: Wootsocks! Awesome marks!

Hot Damn!

I. Hot Fuzz

Everyone needs to go see Hot Fuzz this second if they haven't already. Sometimes, even if they have seen it; it would be good to go again. Hot Fuzz was, without any sort of doubt, the funniest movie I have seen in a very long time. If not the funniest movie I've ever seen. Ever. The laughs kept going through the movie, and I can't think of a time where I wasn't happy about the film. The ending scenes had me roaring with laughter until I cried tears of sweet, sweet happiness. The final scenes that made me laugh so much were also filled with so much action that it would put many other Hollywood action movies to shame.

Definitely worth the watch, and I’m certainly going to be getting Hot Fuzz on DVD when it comes out!

II. The List Grows

Previously mentioned Stu's "The List" has grown bigger, and stronger than it once was. I'm going to really motor through the games I have though if I should have any hope of completing it. No games have been beaten yet, although I have progressed through Zelda and Half Life Source quite nicely. The On Hold list is looking a tad bigger than before, like so:

On Hold

1 – Pokémon Diamond (or Pearl) - DS

2 – Wii and some games* to be announced

3 – Final Fantasy VI - GBA

*Those some games will need to be released in order for me to purchase a Wii. Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles, Super Smash Brothers Brawl, Metroid Prime 3, No More Heroes, or the very promising Spiderman 3. It all looks great! But I need them to be released and reviewed in order to convince me that the Wii is worth getting. And I'm really going to have to complete the games if I have any hope of getting anything on my On Hold list.

So ends my post in two parts. In A minor.

Looking Back

Viloent Video Game violence has been overlooked for far too long, and it is time someone put a stop to it. Heroic crusaders, such as Jack Thompson, have been trying to warn us of our own evil, and we did not pay him enough heed. Now look at the blood on our hands. I am speaking of one particular incident, and it may pain you to look back upon it, but fear not! Your eyes will be opened, and the truth shall be known!

I am of course talking about the horrendous massacre that took place on February 11^th, 2006 where one Vice President Dick Cheney rampaged through a hunting ground and shot approximately one (1) lawyer in the face. It has been the worst Vice President-Lawyer shooting in the history of the universe. Ever. This tragedy happened

four hundred and eighty-three days ago, as of writing this, and it still draws tears to my eyes to imagine the horror that took place on the Quail hunting grounds that day.

Evidence suggests that United States Vice President Dick Cheney trained on the ultra-super violent hunting simulator known as “Duck Hunt”. The simulator taught Cheney how to shoot at a number of flying birds, and a retarded looking dog that was often mistaken as being a bird. Harry Whittington was mistaken as a Quail and shot in the face by the Vice President, much like one wo

uld shoot at the retarded dog out of misunderstanding, or anger. Is it just coincidence?

The Quail is a bird, with wings, much like a duck. Coincidence? Not likely. Unbeknownst to Harry Whittington, the only dog in this nightmarish video game reenactment; was him.

Cheney was never convicted for his despicable crimes, nor was he charged. The court has spoken on this case, but we have the chance to stand up, and shout in one, out-of-touch, senile, voice; that videogames must be stopped! We must take down the Videogame dynasty that released this killographic slaughter simulator, Nintendo, and make sure they can never be allowed to do this again! As well as stop all sales of Duck Hunt, and force the ESRB to change its rating to AO, or pull it off the market completely. It is up to us to stop videogames before they go the way of Rock and Roll, Comic Books, or Women, and destroy the entire planet.

Sadly, this Stu doesn’t think we’ve seen the last of duck-hunt related incidents, and I predict that they another one is on its way, far worse than anything we’ve seen so far. But I will not stop my crusade until Duck Hunt has been wiped from the memory of existence.

Who will videogames hurt next? This time it was the dog, Harry Whittington, but next time could it be the ducks? Could it be Nintendo? Could it be you?

___________________________

Who likes the little duckies in the pond? Not videogamers, that's who!

. . . A Chick-a quack-quack.

The List

Let it be known to the world that I have a lot of catching up to do in the world of gaming! I’m still slowly progressing through Twilight Princess, and I have a lot of games on the waiting list, and they need to be beaten! With the release of the new Pokémon DS games I have come to a full realization of how slowly I have been progressing through games, and how vital it is that I get that game. (WiFi Pokémon? Fuck yeah!) So in a Jordan-inspired move (with some Brian “Whatcha playing” influence) I’ve decided to put out a list of games I need to beat, and games that are on the waiting list for being purchased.

I give you, the birth of Stu’s “The List”

The List

1 – The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess - GCN

2 – Half Life: Source – PC

3 – Half Life 2 – PC

4 – Half Life 2: Episode One - PC

5 – Final Fantasy III – DS

On Hold

1 – Pokémon Diamond (or Pearl) - DS

2 – Wii and some games to be announced.

To be continued...when other games come out.

I wouldn’t expect me to do this with Wii Preparation-esque speed, but I will try to power through these games the best I can, so I can continue on with the On Hold list before it grows so massive that it devours my wallet entirly.

In other videogame related news: I just found out that Paul W.S. Anderson will be directing, writing, and producing a Castlevania *movie. Resident experts say all Castlevania fans have been suffering from symptoms that share a strange resemblance of being kicked in the testicle brothers.

Good Day!

*EDIT: I meant movie.

School Life

News from my less-than-entertaining High School life! How exciting!

So we have another newcomer to the Not-So-Round-Lunch-Table, and he is yet another reject from society. Our table seems to call out to the people who just don’t fit in anywhere, who are looking for refuge amongst the nerds, and says “Hey! Bug these people and sit over here!” It’s like Casablanca for losers!

This wouldn’t bother me so much if it weren’t for one very important, and irritating, detail. As these new people flock to our table it seems that Mike and myself are pushed to the outside, away from the main conversations, and to the forgotten outskirts of the table, and the new people gain our spots, and are automatically accepted into the table routine.

What the fuck?!

Table positions are not something that any new person can just come in and take away from us, yet it has been happening constantly. People who abandon their old tables because they’re not accepted come to our table and push Mike and I farther away from civilization. The Not-So-Round-Lunch-Table is not what it used to be, and spots are quickly filling up. I fear Mike and I will be pushed off the table completely, and we will be forced to found our own table. The table of rejects from the reject table? How depressing.

Also the newest addition to the table is a gamer nerd. He shares a videogame taste with me and Patrick, and he would be pretty cool if he wasn’t a jackass who ruins Twilight Princess. After I told him not to because Patrick and I hadn’t finished the game.

What an asshole!

Moving on…

This passing Friday was ‘Country Day’ at the school. A tradition that has been running for two years in a row in the entirety of my high school life. I was greeted at the “OJ Corel” with a glass of fresh orange drink, and loud shitty music. The question I asked the person who presented the bringer of juice was “What is this? Did I just finish a marathon?” and of course I was reminded that it was Country Day, and there was a country dance tonight!

“Right on,” I thought to myself, “I can stay home and play videogames!” So I did. Yes, that’s how cool I am, as you’re all well aware of by now. Just something about extremely loud dance/country/hip-hop music in a smelly room, with people who are so shit-faced they don’t even know where they are anymore, and the chance of being barfed on from all sides just doesn’t appeal to me for some reason. I guess I won’t be ready for University life! (Zing!)

...Damn I should have got some people together and we could have gone as the Cowboys from Hell. Zombie Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, and etc. Oh well, there's always next year.