POST!

Part I: Marks of Yore, and Classes of Yonder

I’ve got my classes for the next two terms, and my marks from the last one. I’ve actually had them for a while, but I couldn’t be bothered to put them up. I can’t imagine that there’s too much demand for up-to-the-minute Stu updates, and I’m only putting them up now for general knowledge, and pride.

Final Marks :

Religion - 80
Communications Technology - 90
Math - 88
English – 86

Average 86%

Over all I’m pretty happy with my marks, despite the predicted fall of numbers. As it turns out my slow-handed righting is going to be quite troublesome, and I should probably look to fix that before Grade 11 and 12 exams come up lest I shit all over my future, and potential career choices.

My future classes are as follows, keeping in mind that I do not have the actual schedule on hand so I do not know the teacher names, but I wish I did have it in order to explain some changes to the time-table. Now, instead of having periods 2 - 4 lunches they all occur on a 2 hour long period 3. Grade 9s have their lunch for the first 40 minutes, grade 10's have their class interupted for the second 40 minutes, and 11's and 12's will be having theirs for the final 40 minutes of period 3. Feel free to discuss that. However, even if I did have the schedule on me, I would probably keep teachers anonymous in case they chose to google their names, and see what things some jackass kids are saying about them on the inter-tubes.

Semester 1

World Religion
Guitar
Math
Physics

Semester 2

English
Ancient History
Chemistry
Biology

It should be a fun-filled, eventful, and busy year. But we don’t need to worry about that quite yet.

Part II: Bee-Eff-Eff

So, I'm sure regular readership all remembers my soft spot for that girl in my math class, she knows who she is! Anyway, the short version of the story was to befriend the female, in hopes of increasing hangout time, and getting to know her. Well, it actually worked a lot better than I could have possibly hoped!
It was several weeks ago, the day that Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix hit theatre boxes everywhere. She happened to be talking to me via instant messaging, and asked if I was going to see it. Of course I was not, just like the rest of the movies, but I did admit I thought this one may have been taken in the right direction. She quickly followed up by asking if I wanted to go see it with her family, which I did.

So we went and watched the movie, quietly making ridiculous suggestions to improve the movie, mocking the huge gaps missing from the plot, and just making conversation the whole night, laughing away. Since then we’ve hung out for the vast majority of the waking hours on several days of the week, joined with good-guy Tank. That most-popular Mr. Smith's son. The three of us have watched Kung-Fu Hustle, Hot Fuzz, Reservoir Dogs, and 300 just this week, as well as billiards, guitar hero, swimming, mission, and walking around aimlessly. It's be a few weeks of a lot of fun, and I'm surprised that i didn't really have to put much effort into befriending her, and yet it has turned out so great! Hurray for things that put themselves together, eh?

Part III: To Do

So far I am about halfway through my summer vacation, and I still have loads to do. Beating a few games, going on a wacky family vacation, and re-teaching myself music notes, and their corresponding placements on a guitar, as well as keeping up with the Daily Show and the Colbert Report. So far I’ve made some new friends, found a deadly spider, beaten some games, and watched some really, really awesome movies. The seconds half should be awesome and should at least provide me with some interesting posts.

‘Till next time readership.

Widower

This tale starts off the same as any other. I was at work going about my business, when I was asked by a costumer if we happened to have any "nice green grapes." I'd go check, I told him. I gave the cooler a look over but couldn't find any when I finally decided to ask my coworker, Max, if we had any. Max simply motioned beside where he was standing, and there was a huge stack of grape boxes, so I decided to fill up the grapes.

I'd grab the grape bags, and jerk them in the direction of the grape pile; this way was much quicker than reaching in and grabbing the bundle of grapes. I tossed a bunch, and threw the bag into my garbage box, when I reached for another bag.

Holy. Shit.

There was a rather large spider sitting at the edge of my grape box. I backed away a few steps, due to my fear of spiders. May as well grab something to kill him with I had thought, but then I noticed something. It was larger than an average house-spider, and it looked like it had large fangs, as it raised its legs towards me.

Oh. My. God.

"Hey! Jamie!" I called. You had better take a look at this. So my co-worker Jamie came over, and we both agreed that it was possible it could be a Black Widow spider. I left Jamie to watch the arachnid, and ran to the back to get our senior worker, Max, to deal with it. He came quickly, with many pairs of gloves, and a plastic container. He managed to scoop up the Widow, and we taped it shut, and punctured the lid so it was able to breathe. We examined the spider, and found a red hour-glass shape on its abdomen. That confirmed it. We had just caught a deadly spider that came from a box of Californian grapes. Needless to say, I didn't finish the grapes, and Max agreed with me. They didn't pay me enough, and there was no need to take the risk.

The beast is currently inside of Zehrs, in its make-shift prison. I had to close up tonight, and when I checked it seemed to be dead, or at very least almost dead.

The Winning Edge

So, I sat down and played the Resident Evil Remake yesterday. Now, I'm not saying that I played it for a bit, and then stopped. I played the game. The whole thing. I sat down after the Colbert Report, and I beat it in Normal mode, as Jill ,as fast as I could.

I needed to beat the game in under 5 hours to get the Samurai Edge handgun, a modified Berretta pistol equipped with .40 caliber rounds, 3 round burst-fire, infinite ammo, and badassery. Albert Wekser uses one in the game.

Getting under the 3 hour mark would earn me the most prized possession in any Resident Evil arsenal. The Unlimited Rocket Launcher. Capcom has decided to include such a weapon in most of their Resident Evil game, but set the time to get it so short that when you do earn it one would cherish it like a priceless trophy that somehow justified not having a Girlfriend.

My final time was… 3 hours 15 minutes and 23 seconds...

Fuck.

Oh well, I still earned Jill’s RE:3 Costume, Real Survivor Mode, and the Samurai Edge Handgun. It would have been much better if I had told this through a montage, with You're the Best playing in the background as I shot up Zombies. But I couldn't be bothered to do that.

Real Life posts on their way!

Short Answer

Now, I know I've been asked this many times in person. Because of that I know it must also be on all of your minds: so I decided I would answer it now. For all (two-five) of my readers.

People have asked me, time and time again, "Stu, how do you ride?"

Motherfucker, I ride like this!



Oh, and a Happy Birthday to Binkle. I'm about 14 minutes late on that one, but it's still there!

Robots in Disguise

So, I just came back from the theatre, watching the old Transformers rough it up on the silver screen with their new movie. Unfortunately I had to sit beside a little shit who really deserved have his head driven into the seat in front of him, and I was just about ready to do it. What the fuck is a little kid (somewhere between 4 and 8) doing in Transformers anyway?! There’s no chance in hell he is old enough to remember any of the Transformers sagas, let alone the one the movie is based off of. And with the amount of violence, and subject matter in the movie they shouldn’t have let him in anyway. That, and there should be an age restriction on little children going to movies, but I’ll save that for a later post. If that child is not subjected to one of Granite’s sentences, you know the ones for voting in one of those stupid SSB:B characters, at some point in his life there will be no justice in this world. Anyway, despite having a shitty seat, a sot-nosed little shit, and a packed theatre: the movie was pretty good.

Minor spoilers ahead.

I immediately groaned when I witnessed the opening scene. The U.S.A military base in the Middle East reminded me of Spielberg’s War of the Worlds, in which the United States military was made out to be an unstoppable, alien destroying super power that saves the day every time. It was not appropriate in War of the World’s and would certainly not go down with Transformers, the Autobots are supposed to bring the hurt to the Descepticons. My heart lightened as Blackout came riding in, out of the desert, and wiped out the military base in minutes. Scorpinok made short work of some of the survivors, but after the fight with Scorpinok, they seemed to focus in on how we, the United States military, rock. And will find a way to destroy these mega-super-awesome robots. Because we’re so cool! But it worked out in the end, as the military served as great cannon fodder for such awesome Desepticons as Starscream, Megatron, and Devastator, who happened to be a badass, modified M1 Abrams. Bitchin’.

The Special Effects were absolutely stunning. Not quite as impressive as Jurassic Park was when it first devastated the movie industry, but certainly leaps and bounds past what other movies have managed to achieve. When you watch the movie you will not see any flaws in the robots, their fluid transformations, or the fight scenes. They are done perfectly, and in a way that I’m not even sure if it was all CGI, or is they actually used models for the scenes. Or perhaps they found the real Transformers and decided that they could make a movie with them, which seems like a very real possibility as well.

The plot was…well…unimportant. I came to see giant fucking robots beat the crap out of each other, and that’s just what I got! The plot was decent for a Transformers movie, and wasn’t so mind-boggingly stupid that it ruined the movie, but it was pretty good, and made sure that there was plenty of close-combat action. If you can shake off the stench of United States superiority than this is definitely an awesome movie, and a great way to see those robots that are more than meets the eyes one more time.

That’s all I have to say about that.