Ah, the cinema. It’s the perfect place to catch a new movie with a few friends, perhaps a lady friend, or maybe even both at once. Recently I have gone to the local theatre to see both 300 and
Don’t get me wrong, I have seen my fair share of movies recently, although I have had to rent them, or go out of town to see them in a theatre. Why is this? Well, it seems that the Cinema has an outrageously cleaver business plan that I will simply call ‘We don’t play any fucking movies’
Now this is a complicated, and sound, business strategy, so try to stay with me here.
Step 1 is to find every movie people are looking forward to, and not get it. This is key to their plan. Casino Royal and 300 may seem like popular films that will make a lot of money, because they are. So, as part of the first step, they mustn’t get them until at least 90% of all potential customers have seen them already.
Step 2 involves stocking up on really bad films and keeping them in for months at a time. Years even, if it is a really shitty movie. Wild Hogs and The Fog are among these films. But you have to be careful about this. Our local cinema has made the mistake of getting a shitty movie like Wild Hogs, but it is actually doing well in the box office. After all, they're only human down there or at least some sort of heartless alien creature that is trying to impersonate a human.
The sound part of their strategy is next. It’s the sound of them urinating in my ears. Constantly. It’s like I’m going def, with pee.
There’s a little bit of town history for you.
The reason I bring this up is because I have recently discovered that the new British Comedy Hot Fuzz is coming to
9 comments:
Oh wow...
That movie looks AWESOME!
It certainly does, Binkle. It most certainly does.
I have to get used to seeing "Matthew" as "Binkle" on this comment portion of blogger...ing.
“Is it true that there’s a place in a man’s head that when you shoot it: it will blow up?”
Shit yes what an awesome movie.
You've got to see Shaun of the Dead as well, if you haven't already.
In Shaun of the Dead, they played Timesplitters 2. My brother and I were like "OH YEAH!" when we saw them playing, because we (myself and Jake, and also myself, Binkle, Andrew and Stu) play that all the time).
You need a new post, dude.
Also, every time I check your blog, I end up watching the Hot Fuzz trailer... I must have seen it 10 times by now...
Oh, and it used to be Binks, but when Blogger got Googleized, it started pulling from my Google account which (since I have Gmail) is using my real first name.
That trailer didn't really do the movie justice. After watching it I had that "meh" feeling. When I saw another trailer for it on T.V I changed my mind.
This movie's gonna be awesome!
"When I saw another trailer for it on T.V I changed my mind."
I know what you mean. The advertisement I saw on TV had me out of my chair laughing.
And I'm working on a new post Binkle. I Just can't find a good enough topic to carry out of the realm of boring.
In a recent development of "I fucking called it", , Stratford isn’t playing Hot Fuzz.
Lame!
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