Looking Back

Viloent Video Game violence has been overlooked for far too long, and it is time someone put a stop to it. Heroic crusaders, such as Jack Thompson, have been trying to warn us of our own evil, and we did not pay him enough heed. Now look at the blood on our hands. I am speaking of one particular incident, and it may pain you to look back upon it, but fear not! Your eyes will be opened, and the truth shall be known!

I am of course talking about the horrendous massacre that took place on February 11^th, 2006 where one Vice President Dick Cheney rampaged through a hunting ground and shot approximately one (1) lawyer in the face. It has been the worst Vice President-Lawyer shooting in the history of the universe. Ever. This tragedy happened

four hundred and eighty-three days ago, as of writing this, and it still draws tears to my eyes to imagine the horror that took place on the Quail hunting grounds that day.

Evidence suggests that United States Vice President Dick Cheney trained on the ultra-super violent hunting simulator known as “Duck Hunt”. The simulator taught Cheney how to shoot at a number of flying birds, and a retarded looking dog that was often mistaken as being a bird. Harry Whittington was mistaken as a Quail and shot in the face by the Vice President, much like one wo

uld shoot at the retarded dog out of misunderstanding, or anger. Is it just coincidence?

The Quail is a bird, with wings, much like a duck. Coincidence? Not likely. Unbeknownst to Harry Whittington, the only dog in this nightmarish video game reenactment; was him.

Cheney was never convicted for his despicable crimes, nor was he charged. The court has spoken on this case, but we have the chance to stand up, and shout in one, out-of-touch, senile, voice; that videogames must be stopped! We must take down the Videogame dynasty that released this killographic slaughter simulator, Nintendo, and make sure they can never be allowed to do this again! As well as stop all sales of Duck Hunt, and force the ESRB to change its rating to AO, or pull it off the market completely. It is up to us to stop videogames before they go the way of Rock and Roll, Comic Books, or Women, and destroy the entire planet.

Sadly, this Stu doesn’t think we’ve seen the last of duck-hunt related incidents, and I predict that they another one is on its way, far worse than anything we’ve seen so far. But I will not stop my crusade until Duck Hunt has been wiped from the memory of existence.

Who will videogames hurt next? This time it was the dog, Harry Whittington, but next time could it be the ducks? Could it be Nintendo? Could it be you?

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Who likes the little duckies in the pond? Not videogamers, that's who!

. . . A Chick-a quack-quack.