So we have another newcomer to the Not-So-Round-Lunch-Table, and he is yet another reject from society. Our table seems to call out to the people who just don’t fit in anywhere, who are looking for refuge amongst the nerds, and says “Hey! Bug these people and sit over here!” It’s like Casablanca for losers!
This wouldn’t bother me so much if it weren’t for one very important, and irritating, detail. As these new people flock to our table it seems that Mike and myself are pushed to the outside, away from the main conversations, and to the forgotten outskirts of the table, and the new people gain our spots, and are automatically accepted into the table routine.
What the fuck?!
Table positions are not something that any new person can just come in and take away from us, yet it has been happening constantly. People who abandon their old tables because they’re not accepted come to our table and push Mike and I farther away from civilization. The Not-So-Round-Lunch-Table is not what it used to be, and spots are quickly filling up. I fear Mike and I will be pushed off the table completely, and we will be forced to found our own table. The table of rejects from the reject table? How depressing.
Also the newest addition to the table is a gamer nerd. He shares a videogame taste with me and Patrick, and he would be pretty cool if he wasn’t a jackass who ruins Twilight Princess. After I told him not to because Patrick and I hadn’t finished the game.
What an asshole!
Moving on…
“Right on,” I thought to myself, “I can stay home and play videogames!” So I did. Yes, that’s how cool I am, as you’re all well aware of by now. Just something about extremely loud dance/country/hip-hop music in a smelly room, with people who are so shit-faced they don’t even know where they are anymore, and the chance of being barfed on from all sides just doesn’t appeal to me for some reason. I guess I won’t be ready for University life! (Zing!)
...Damn I should have got some people together and we could have gone as the Cowboys from Hell. Zombie Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, and etc. Oh well, there's always next year.
2 comments:
Ugh...I just know I'm going to get some flack when Andrew and Fraser read the little part about the guy who spoils Zelda.
And then someone else will chime in about how I abandoned Andrew, Binkle and Travis to a fate that was Jason Hamilton.
Interesting post though. As for the table position, you need to assert your authority. Or sit at a shorter table. That's what we did. I think I sat in the middle of the table on the one side for all of high school. And Binkle sat beside me for most of the time, and then I think he migrated to the other side. And Andrew? Well...we wont talk about that debacle (I don't know what I'm referring to, but it might stir some shit up).
Excellent post Stu. Keep 'em coming.
Pffff, you almost spoiled that shit for ME Jordan...
Don't worry about the Country dance Stu, anything having to do with country music is straight from hell and shouldn't even be considered quality.
The dances weren't that great either, only reason I went was so I could see other people there. Oh yeah and Jenn was always moderating them :P
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